Monday, February 20, 2017

Overcoming Fear

A few weeks ago I attended a leadership retreat with my church.  It was a great time to make some new friends and to have some much needed alone time with God.  Our leader gave us a chapter in Psalms to read, Psalm 46.  It is a great chapter that talks about God being our strength and help in times of trouble.  The part of the chapter that really stood out to me were verses 1-3...

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.  Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling."

If you really think about these verses you realize that what you are going through may seem HUGE but in reality, it is not.  These verses are talking about HUGE events... mountains moving into the sea...that would be a HUGE event that could potentially take many lives.  If God is present during times of natural disaster...he is definitely present during times of "disaster" in our lives.  Whether it be your day to day stresses or feeling deep heartache or loss.

Another part of this verse that I find even more important is the part about fear...

 I don't know about you, but when I was a kid I was fascinated by natural disasters.  I loved watching Twister and documentaries about natural disasters.  Now, don't get me wrong, I was terrified of them.  If I knew a tornado might be coming I would come close to having a panic attack.  My childhood friend, Jaimie, and I watched a movie about earthquakes once and I was terrified to go over bridges...in fear that an earthquake would hit and the bridge would collapse.  I have always thought that there was nothing more scary than a natural disaster.  They are unpredictable and in a lot of cases, there is no escaping them. 

So, if we should not fear even during times of natural disaster, we should definitely not fear during times of personal "disaster".  I have been fearful during this time of  infertility.  I am afraid that my dream of being able to have my own child with be shot down, that I won't be able to provide my husband with a child of his own, and that I may not be able to continue the family line.  I am afraid that I will grow angry over time and that my heart will be hardened.  I am afraid that I will forever feel pain deep inside when I see a pregnant woman walking down the street. These feelings are all completely understandable, but we must not stay here.   Or else we will be miserable and we will not be able to show others the love of God.

We are not to fear because God is our refuge!  He is our strength!  He is within us, all we need to do is turn to him during these times of need and He will give us comfort.  He will help us see the pregnant lady walking down the street and give us the strength to smile because of that precious life growing inside.  He will let us feel the love of our families during this time of hardship.  He will reveal to us the importance of being honest during this time so others can speak truth to us.  All we have to do is seek him, all we need to do is seek truth.  The truth is...God IS with us!  He is our refuge and strength during times that we have absolutely no control of the outcome.  Whether it be infertility or an earthquake...  He will cover us in His love and grace and we must trust Him to do so.

Before I really opened up about my infertility, I felt so scared and so helpless.  But, once I opened up and talked about my story people started speaking truth into my life!  People started praying for me and the helplessness and fear started to melt away.  Fear still creeps in but now I am prepared.  Now I am aware of the truth and I do my best to dwell on it each day.  This is a battle we have to fight every single day...to reject the thoughts if bitterness and self-pity and to see the truth. 

As a side-note...
 Please feel free to share this on Facebook and follow (I think you can do that?) if you are enjoying reading my story.

I want to share a devotional I am reading that has been a big help... it is called "31 Days of Prayer During Infertility" by Lisa Newton.  Although I enjoy reading her little devotions she has written I really like that she provides a lot of scripture.

Please feel free to share your stories.  If you are in need of prayer you can leave a comment with your name or email me at amandatapp13@gmail.com.

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