Tuesday, June 26, 2018

She is here!

**Please note... I go into detail about our birthing story and there is probably TMI in this post but I feel like it's important to tell our story and I hope that some woman are able to relate to some of the issues I discuss in this post.**

Our sweet Winry made her entrance into this world on June 4th at 12:35 am.  She was 6 lbs 12 ounces ad 18 1/2 inches long.  I was in labor for about 25 hours...we were checked in at the hospital at about 2:30 am on Sunday morning but my contractions picked up around 11:30 pm Saturday night.  

When they broke my water they realized that there was some meconium.  This made me really nervous because I had read about it and knew that it could cause some problems.  I didn't dwell on it long because of everything else that was going on.  Before they broke my water I asked that they go ahead and give me the epidural.  Sadly, it did not work well.  I was still in a significant amount of pain and they had to redo it.  I have never responded well to pain meds... When they redid the epidural it helped with the back pain I was experiencing.  But, when it came time to push it had worn off significantly.  It's hard to explain but I was able to move my legs again, I could feel each contraction, I was even able to feel myself tear, but the pain was bearable.  I don't know if that was adrenaline or the medication... I pushed for about an hour and a half and then Winry was here.  I freaked out because she did not cry right away.  They placed her on my stomach once she was out but then took her to the NICU team that was in the room and they worked on her.  I could not see exactly what they were doing but I watched them pound on her, suck stuff from her mouth and nose and for what seemed like forever...she was silent.  They kept reassuring me her vitals all looked ok but I was a mess.  Finally we heard some pitiful quiet cries and they let me hold her for a minute before taking her away to the NICU.

Before they took us to our room we got to stop by and see Winry in the NICU.  They said she was having some fast breathing and had signs of an infection.  She was put on a feeding tube and oxygen. I really wanted to breastfeed and I was worried that her NICU stay would make that difficult.  I started pumping right away and was surprised at how fast my milk came in.  After about 3 or four days with the feeding tube they took her off and began bottle feeding, using donated breast milk (I had no idea this was a thing but am so thankful to those women that donate).  Once I was making a significant amount of my own milk they began using strictly my milk.  Then we began trying to breastfeed.  It was a struggle.  The lactation nurse came by to help and all it did was stress me out even more.  I know she was trying to be helpful but it was a very defeating day.  One of the nurses told me she would get me a nipple shield to try since she thought my nipples were too flat.  It made all the difference.  With it I was able to feed my baby.  But, let me tell you...these are apparently very controversial.  Women are shamed all the time for using them.  I had a nurse call from our insurance company and she gave me a hard time for using it.  She basically said that Winry was playing me... I'm sorry but when your baby chokes and gags while they are breastfeeding I don't think they are doing that on purpose.  I think my letdown was too strong for her.  But honestly, I don't care if she was playing me.  When your baby was tube fed the first few days of her life, you don't care how she eats...you just want her to eat!   I WAS worried about weaning her off of it...it can be a pain to use.  She was always knocking it off and it would make feeding in public more difficult.  But I read a few articles and stories from women that said keep offering the breast without a shield as often as possible and when they are ready they will take it without.  Well, today was our day!  She had a successful feeding without the nipple shield.  So ladies, don't let others tell you how to mother your baby.  As moms, we truly know what is best for our babies and if you are having feeding issues, try the nipple shield, it may make all the difference and your baby won't have to use it forever.

Okay, enough of that.

On another note, I have been feeling pretty miserable.  I have mastitis... it basically makes you feel like you have the flu.  Mothering and feeling terrible is probably one of the hardest things to do.  On top of that, Winry has only been wanting mommy the past few days.  Thankfully she seems to know that night time is for sleeping by herself but during the day, she is only happy sleeping on mommy's chest.  I hate it and love it at the same time.  She is currently sleeping on me as I type this post. :)

I have learned real fast that as a new mom you have to learn to do pretty much anything quickly and one handed.  I am going to be buying a lot of meals that can be prepared and eaten one handed because it never fails... anytime I try to eat Winry wants to be right here with me.

I'm not sure how long it takes some people to go on a date night after having a baby but Casey and I went on a date this weekend.  I was reluctant but he really wanted to see Incredibles 2 and I knew deep down that it would be good for us to go out, just the two of us.  We had a great time and Winry was in good hands.  So new moms, if you have not gone out yet and you have people you trust to take care of your baby... do it!

I am so thankful to have this sweet on here.  Thank you for following our LONG journey.  This journey has been tough but I am thankful that the Lord saw us through.  He gave us strength when we were week.  He gave us hope when we had none.  He has truly shown us that even during the darkest of circumstances, he is working on a perfect, beautiful plan.  So, if you find yourself in a dark time, know that no matter what, He has a beautiful plan for you too.  You just may have to wait a while to see it.  Never stop trusting the Lord and his goodness.

I will continue writing about this journey and things that I am learning as a new mother.  :)

Stay tuned!      

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